International

DID you find great comfort this weekend in imagining president Trump was incapacitated or deceased? Why stop? Here’s how to always believe it.

THIS week Trump’s cabinet could be seen engaging in some blatant brown-nosing. It was sickening, but maybe some sycophancy would advance your career and personal interests too? Try this.

LIFE’S going okay for you here in Britain, so should you move to a hardline Islamic monarchy in the desert? We consider the pluses and the absolutely f**k nos.

IF Trump has somehow helped to bring peace to Ukraine you might be forced to reevaluate your view of him. If that happens, here’s how to remember he’s still a colossal dickhead.

ODDLY, vice president JD Vance is holidaying in the Cotswolds. To welcome him, here are some ideas for activities in this lovely area of Britain.

DONALD Trump has explained the ‘secret’ he and Jeffrey Epstein shared was how to unlock Shrek as a playable character on Tony Hawk’s Underground.