International

GOING on holiday’s become a right twat after Brexit. Nothing to do with us – it’s because jealous Euros have made up bollocks rules. Leave voter Martin Bishop explains.

TIME for a well-earned break from being the salt of the earth? Here’s how to be bigoted and furious somewhere hot full of foreign bastards.

ROE vs Wade has been overturned, so who has more rights in the US: a woman, or an AR-15 assault rifle?

THE UK has begun its new immigration policy of sending them back to where they do not come from and have never previously been.

THE home secretary has vowed that tomorrow’s Rwanda flight will go ahead even if it is just six mannequins and her, glowering furiously.

THE US is to ban abortion but, as a compromise, allow all two-year-olds to carry firearms.

VLADIMIR Putin’s forces have suffered a series of humiliating defeats during a Warhammer conflict with a spotty teenage nerd.

HAVE you bloody seen Rwanda? It’s like the all-inclusive they give as the prize on Good Morning Britain. Roy Hobbs explains how to make it a proper deterrent.

SICK of paying tax and don’t like Britain? Simply become non-domiciled, like Rishi Sunak’s wife and Daily Mail owner Viscount Rothermere. Here’s how:

ROMAN Abramovich has apparently been poisoned, but should you feel sorry for an oligarch who’s a close acquaintance of Putin?