Science & Technology

Ghosts unhappy with own logic

GHOSTS have complained that too many aspects of their existence do not make sense.

Obsolete drivers ‘will need new outlets for angry self-pity’

THE era of the driverless car means people will have to find other ways of venting their selfish, red-faced fury, it has been claimed.

Perfect cup of tea renders all other tea pointless

A FLAWLESS cup of tea has made further tea-making redundant, it has been claimed.

Ruins of Altavista and Friends Reunited now tourist attractions

THE abandoned, broken ruins of 1990s internet sites are popular destinations for tourists unable to believe that people once lived there.

Flavour of Irn-Bru shrouded in mystery

NOBODY knows what the flavour of Irn-Bru is supposed to be, it has emerged.

Remaining Kula Shaker fans to breed

THE last two people who listen to the music of Kula Shaker are undergoing enforced breeding to prevent the extinction of their kind.

NASA probe seeks new planets to borrow money from

A NASA space probe has been launched to find Earth-like planets who can lend us money.

Everyone fine with ‘designer babies’ if it means they don’t do shits

THE public has expressed total approval for genetically altered babies that do not need to shit.