Science & Technology

Churchill clone actually a bit of an arse

A JURASSIC Park-style clone of Winston Churchill has made Britons realise that the WW2 prime minister may have been an arse.

Yesterday most depressing day of year, say scientists disgusted at what they've become

MONDAY January 19th was officially the most depressing day of the year, according to scientists degrading themselves by concocting media bullshit.

Petri dish goes viral

A PETRI dish has become the centre of attention after developing a new strain of thymosin-derived ACT1 peptide.

Google Glass withdrawal huge blow for dickheads

COMPLETE tools who want the whole world to know it are protesting the withdrawal of Google Glass.

New planet keen to deter humans

A NEWLY-DISCOVERED Earth-like planet has said it is probably not the kind of place humans would be into living on.

First female bishop appointed just 45 years after humans landed on moon

THE Church of England has managed to appoint a female bishop within half a century of humans setting foot on another world.

Asteroid headed straight for self-centred astronomer

AN egotistical scientist has claimed that a mountain-sized asteroid is headed right at him.

UK moon mission ‘not just a piss-up’

THE organisers of a UK moon landing have strenuously denied that it is an excuse to drink lager in space.