Science & Technology

Number of Mini Eggs in bag always one less than you could possibly imagine

THERE are always fewer Mini Eggs in a bag than even the lowest estimate, mathematicians have confirmed.

Woman loves Amazon Echo thing more than she loves boyfriend

A woman has developed feelings for a device that is more attentive and useful than her boyfriend, it has emerged.

Light sleepers told to grow the f**k up

DELICATE little flowers who claim they are woken by the slightest thing have been instructed to get over themselves.

Middle classes using yoghurt as a condiment

MIDDLE class people are using yoghurt as a type of sauce, it has emerged.

'BT Wi-Fi with Fon' told to f**k off and die

THE stupidly-named BT wi-fi thing that overrides your internet connection should burn in hell, it has been confirmed.

Scientists developing twat-free bikes

RIDERLESS bicycles free of dangerous knobheads in lycra will soon be a reality, scientists believe.

So-called 'smartphone' not smart enough to avoid being dropped in the bog

A TOP-OF-THE-RANGE smartphone was not smart enough to avoid being dropped in a nightclub toilet.

Synthetic DNA 'could create Brexiter who is not a bellend'

SCIENTISTS have created synthetic DNA that could lead to new life forms, including a Brexit supporter who is not an infuriating git.