Science & Technology

The six stages of having to print some f**king thing out

YOUR printer hates you but you need a hard copy of your boarding pass. These are the six stages of misery you’ll go through to get it.

13-year-old presented with mandatory earbuds to wear for next three years

A GIRL has celebrated her 13th birthday by receiving and inserting the earbuds she will wear continuously until she is 16.

Cornwall no wiser as to what space is

FOLLOWING the failed launch of a satellite mission from Cornwall, the people of the county are still oblivious as to what space is.

Hi, I'm your friend who describes memes

GIF: the black lady opens the door with a wide grin and a sashaying walk! Caption: It’s me! Your friend who describes memes!

It can be set to silent, and other reasons why your phone is better than your kids

YOUR Samsung does what you ask it to, while children are annoying, wilful little shits. Here are some other reasons to love your phone more.

Tiny jigsaw, spinning top, whistle: crap cracker toys ranked in order of crapness

FROM underwhelming bangs to flimsy crowns, crackers are toss. But worst of all is the failed promise of the toys, in order.

The secret world of middle-aged emojis: What your parents are really saying in their texts

AFTER identifying emojis used by teens to mean drugs or sex, police have published a shocking guide to what the middle-aged really mean when they use the symbols.

LED facemarks, and other dystopian skincare trends capitalism is selling you

NAIVELY believe mere cleansing, toning and moisturising will stop you wrinkling like a hag? Capitalism doesn’t. It needs you to buy into these trends.

Six texts you can cheerfully write off as bank fraud

GOT any of these texts? No need to reply, just assume it’s fraudsters trying to drain your account, which it kind of is.

Artemis rocket to check if moon still there

NASA’S Artemis rocket has successfully lifted off on its mission to find out whether the moon is where the last expedition left it.