Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,I recently went out on a night out with some of my work colleagues and indulged in one too many Bacardi Breezers. One minute, I’m discussing the finer details of a mail merge with one of the other secretaries, the next, I find myself stripped to the waist on the banks of a river with £300 in cash and no eyebrows. Worse still, Alan from HR keeps giving me really knowing looks everytime I walk past his office, which might also explain how I came into possession of a case of genital herpes. The thing is, I’d hate to cut back on the booze too much because otherwise people might start to realise I have nothing interesting to say. Any ideas?MarinaLeamington Spa

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Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT)Frighten old ladies on the bus this week by passing them a note that says ‘rumpy pumpy’.

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