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  • Train becomes your house when you buy a ticket, say twats
  • Labour outlines new Hugely Popular With Voters TBC policy
  • Man thinks Groove Armada song about sand dunes and shit is a classic
  • Trump to become England manager
  • 'Modern London' Monopoly only has dark blue properties
  • Britain wants Jurgen Klopp to be its stepdad
  • Big Sam doesn’t give a f**k
  • Cyclist who stopped at red light questions own manhood
  • Woman consults phone 63 times without filling internal void
  • Delusional man thinks he’s getting his tenancy deposit back