Attenborough to film ‘Life of Scrotes’

DAVID Attenborough’s new nature series for the BBC will delve into the world of Britain’s fast-breeding underclass.

Sir David will follow a group of baseball cap-wearing teenagers as they produce ever more offspring using lager and the back seat of a modded-up Citroen Saxo.

Attenborough said: “We live alongside them, kicking aside their discarded Greggs wrappers and empty WKD bottles every time we walk through the precinct, but what do we really know about the mating of scrotes?”

Early footage shows Attenborough crouched down and speaking in his trademark whisper just yards away from a mature male, surrounded by eight of his 14 children.

He said: “We’re deep inside his territory, and if we were for a moment identified as a threat he would release the bull terrier and we would have to run for our lives.”

The series will also devote an entire episode to a park bench which carries the slogan ‘Chelsee Mayer suks dick for cigs’.