BBC Unveils Plans For ‘Earthquake: The Mini Series’

THE BBC has unveiled plans for a three-part mini series based on this morning's earthquake in Lincolnshire.

Kemp is one of Britain's favourite pretend hardmen

Starring Ross Kemp, as Kenny Ross, a troubled, Iraq war veteran, the £200 million production will be the centrepiece of the corporation's summer schedules.

A BBC spokesman said: "Everyone remembers where they were when they heard about the Lincolnshire earthquake.

"Families were torn apart and some the county's best chimneys were ruined. This amazing production will explore the heart-wrenching human dramas which will hopefully emerge sometime later today."

As the quake hits Market Rasen, Kemp's character is seen drinking vodka from the bottle and looking at photos of old comrades from Basra.

But as he cowers under the stairs, he remembers a selfless act of courage by his Scottish friend 'Corporal Jocky' and vows never to hide under the stairs ever again.

He then begins an incident-packed, 45-minute journey to the centre of Grimsby where he helps lift some bricks off an old man's legs.

Meanwhile environment secretary Hilary Benn has launched an immediate, six month-long review into the safety of Britain's chimneys.