Breaking Bad ends with everyone friends again

THE final episode of Breaking Bad ended last night with everyone becoming friends again.

Teacher-turned-meth maker Walter White apologised to his family and to former business partner Jesse Pinkman after seeing the error of his ways.

Speaking to Pinkman, White said: “I realise now that because of me a lot of bad things happened. I suppose I just wanted everyone to respect me.

“And because of my stupid pride I couldn’t just say ‘I’m sorry’.”

Pinkman replied: “That’s ok Walt. I suppose we all made some mistakes.

“It’s time I went back to college and did something positive with my life. I’m going to be an actual chef, not cooking up drugs but making delicious omelettes and salads.”

White’s long-suffering wife Skyler said: “I’m sorry too, I was such an uptight bitch. Probably if I’d been a bit nicer this never would have happened.”

As the surviving characters gathered by the Whites’ pool to share a beer or soft drink, Walt turned to the camera and delivered a monologue.

He said: “I should have used my talents to help others, instead of being focused only on myself. True respect comes from being a good person.

“Making crystal meth was wrong – in fact you could say I made a real ‘meth’ of things.”

Then Skyler pushed him in the pool and everyone laughed.

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

Alcohol wrecks man's looks in a single night

28-YEAR-OLD Tom Logan has described how a single night of intense drinking ravaged his youthful looks.

Logan, who is generally a moderate drinker, awoke from an unplanned bender looking look the late film director Ken Russell.

He said: “We really got on it. I remember doing flaming sambucas and another drink that tasted like bad chocolate, but after that it’s a blank.

“I awoke fully clothed on the sofa, moaned softly for a bit then got up and shuffled to the bathroom.

“At first I wondered why there was some red old man in my house. He had big ruddy jowls and chaotic grey hair.

“I gradually realised I was looking in the mirror.

“My life is ruined now. I’m regional sales manager for a mobile phone company, yet when I arrived for a team meeting I was turned away and given some small change to get myself ‘a nice cup of tea’.

“I fully expected to wreck my physical appearance through poor lifestyle decisions, but over the course of decades rather than in one ill-judged session.”