Celebrity Big Brother housemates all ghosts apart from Rylan

08-01-13

CHANNEL 5 has revealed that this year’s Celebrity Big Brother contestants are all ghosts, except for Rylan.

Under Frankie’s hat there’s an exposed brain

Producers had hoped to keep the surprise twist a secret, but it was revealed to viewers after Toadfish walked through a wall on his way to the toilet.

A Channel 5 spokesman said: “The housemates, apart from Rylan, passed away in accidents but are unable to ‘move on’ until they’ve achieved another tabloid front page. However they don’t know that they’re spirits.

“You’ll notice Frankie Dettori thinks he survived a plane crash. Likewise Paula Hamilton has described swerving her car to avoid a deer and that American couple believe they narrowly avoided a fatal bear attack.

“If Rylan guesses they’re ghosts they will all vanish into thin air and he gets the prize money.”

Rylan’s suspicions about his housemates’ spectral origins grew last night after he noticed some ectoplasm on Frankie Dettori’s duvet.

The spokesman said: “We thought he’d assume Frankie had been self-pleasuring but Rylan is pretty astute on the subject of manly secretions.”

Viewer Nikki Hollis said: “This new supernatural format has really gotten me back into CBB.

“It’s like watching a James Herbert book, except the hero is a flamboyant homosexual instead of a surly middle-aged man with corduroy elbow patches.”

 

 

  • Share:

  •  

    Bring-it-inside