Creepy men empowered by Miley Cyrus
SLEAZY middle-aged men have hailed Miley Cyrus’s VMA performance for boosting their self-confidence.
Creepiness campaigners hailed Cyrus rubbing her genitals against Robin Thicke’s ageing crotch as a pivotal moment.
46-year-old sex pest Tom Logan said: “When I deliberately press myself up against young women in crowded pubs, they tend to act disgusted.
“I always knew they wanted it really.
“They’re all whores, except my mum and my nan.”
Company director Roy Hobbs agreed: “I was actually beaten up once for hanging round outside a sixth form disco offering girls cigarettes.
“People need to realise creepy men have feelings too, sexual feelings towards younger women.
“Who may say they aren’t interested but isn’t the phrase ‘leave me alone’ just another example of a blurred line?
“I mean it sounds a bit like ‘lead me away’.”
Meanwhile MTV bosses have promised to keep their channel’s viewers in a state of confused arousal.
A spokesman said: “You want breasts and vaginas combined with random surrealistic imagery such as giant dancing bears and masks with cheese leaking out of them.
“We promise to keep you randy and bewildered.”