Disney promises 61-year-old Princess Leia in metal bikini

01-11-12

CARRIE Fisher will get back into fetish gear for the next Star Wars film in 2017, Disney has promised.

It’s a different kind of magic

Executives at the corporation said that actress Carrie Fisher, who will be 61 when the film wraps, will return wearing the iconic outfit.

A spokesman said: “Leia is sexy, sure, but in her skimpy steel bra at a near-pensionable age she’s also strong and dignified.

“Carrie, like the Star Wars series, never gets old. Or at least we’ve convinced ourselves of that.

“And as a nod to gender equality, Mark Hamill turns up in a leather thong.

“Anyway the Hollywood maxim is, do flog a dead horse. Flog it until all the flesh has gone and it’s just a skeleton. Then flog the skeleton until it’s powder. Then sell the powder as merchandise.”

Star Wars fan Julian Cook said: “I’m sure Carrie looks great for her age but I vaguely remember my nan at 61. Even if we weren’t related I wouldn’t have wanted to see her in fetish gear.”

Fellow devotee Tom Logan said: “I could handle it if the story centred on Jar Jar Binks investigating financial irregularities in the Rebel Alliance’s accounts, or a love triangle between two ewoks and a jawa.

“I’d still watch it if the dialogue consisted entirely of clunky exposition like, ‘It is of crucial importance that we deactivate the trillium beam in order that our love may flourish like a Nabooian swamp rose.’

“And I’d be more curious than angry if George Lucas came and took a dump on my front lawn.

“But not this. No. Not this.

“It’s like every act of masturbation I did since the 80s is now somehow tainted and impure.”

 

 

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