Every man over 35 still madly in love with Shirley Manson

10-07-17

EVERY man over 35 in Britain would leave his wife and children in a heartbeat to shack up with Shirley Manson, scientists have confirmed.

The Institute of Studies found that every man who grew up in the Britpop era has carried a torch for the Garbage singer since 1995 and did not care who knew it.

Tom Logan, from Stevenage, said: “It’s unlikely, but if I did get a call from her or even an email I would drop everything I was doing and run to her wherever she was.

“And even if it didn’t turn out to be a romantic thing, I’d happily just do her shopping and wash her car.”

He added: “Yes, I am married with three kids but they would understand one day, I’m quite sure. And even if they didn’t, what the hell does it matter?”

The Institute confirmed the other female singers all men over 35 would leave instantly their wives for were Louise Wener from Sleeper, Miki Berenyi from Lush and Sonya Aurora Madan from Echobelly.

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