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Game of Thrones currently filming absolutely everywhere

FANTASY drama Game of Thrones is now being filmed in every conceivable place.

The seemingly endless list of locations for the hit TV series has now grown to include the North Pole, all Wimpy restaurants and a garden centre in Trowbridge.

Series creator George R R Martin said: “We are doing for Earth what The Lord of the Rings did for New Zealand.

“This planet is now Westeros and we will come and film in your garage soon. You cannot stop us as we have loads of swords.

“Not that you would want to because you are obsessed with Game of Thrones.”

Mother-of-two Nikki Hollis said: “I got back from work and my house had been turned into a medieval brothel. There was a massive orgy followed by a massacre in the utility room.

“The crew of over 1,000 people had eaten all our breakfast cereal. It’s fine though because Peter Dinklage autographed my forehead.”

New coat gives false sense of hope

A WINTER coat has given its owner the unfounded sense of a new beginning.

31-year-old Tom Booker spent more than he anticipated on the coat, which makes him feel like a different person.

He said: “As soon as I saw the coat I was like ‘that’s the one’.’

“I’ll get new shoes to go with it. New shirt. Maybe a Rolex or fake Rolex.

“I’ll ask out the receptionist in work and she’ll say yes and then I’ll demand that my boss gives me a massive raise and also his car keys.’

“Then I’ll drive around town in his BMW, listening to loud drum and bass, proud in the fact that I am a man of wealth and taste.”

Returning home that evening, Booker removed the coat, turned on his computer and sat watching season two of The Wire on Netflix for the third time while eating some pasta.

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