Glastonbury coverage welcomed by Britain’s top letches

MEN who dislike pop music but enjoy leering at young women have welcomed blanket coverage of Glastonbury.

The media’s decision to portray an unashamedly left-wing event as a cavalcade of breasts and buttocks has proved popular with everyone who does not care whether Thom Yorke is doing a surprise acoustic set on the West Holt stage.

Roy Hobbs, from Guildford, said: “Stormzy? Couldn’t give a monkey’s. But I’m extremely interested in Glasto first-timer Georgina and her denim shorts.

“Typically the radical leftists at the BBC spend too much time on the actual music, but I know the tabloids will focus on the perky breasts and lovely young bottoms that are the real point of the whole shebang.”

Martin Bishop, from Peterborough, agreed: “You never know what your Glasto highlight will be until the festival’s over. It defies your expectations.

“But I’m very much hoping for a brunette in bodypaint sucking a lolly.”