Grizzly bears accuse BBC of racism

09-12-11

DAVID Attenborough has been embroiled in a row over the ethnic diversity of bears in BBC documentaries.

The grizzly is a majestic motherfucker

As the veteran broadcaster’s latest polar bear series hits screens, members of the North American Ursine Brotherhood have called for a boycott of all BBC programs until an equal opportunities policy is implemented.

Tom Logan, a 650lb grizzly from Wyoming, said “What’s a grizzly got to do to get a film crew up in this woodland, bitch? I been dodging hunters and scoring pic-a-nic baskets like a motherfucker and the BBC ain’t been documenting shit.

“But the moment there’s some white bear on white bear violence it’s all over the news. My brown brothers have been dying in mating and territory wars for years but the polarcentric media don’t want to know.”

The BBC has denied the accusation of racism, claiming some of their best documentaries are about grizzlies and have accused Logan of ‘playing the species card’.

They have asked him to call off his planned demonstration, which would involve several dozen seven-foot grizzlies roaming the BBC’s offices in Manchester, following fears for the bears’ safety amongst locals.

Documentary producer Roy Hobbs said “I think the continued existence of the badger in Britain and the recent introduction of the pandas to Edinburgh Zoo shows a good record of black and white bear integration in this country. Really? I thought badgers were little bears?”

“Nevertheless, we might be at the point where the polar bear has jumped the shark. And yes, you’re absolutely right to think what an awesome film that would make.”

 

 

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