Jamie Oliver’s Bond book launched

THE latest literary outing for spy James Bond has hit the shelves, written by best-selling author and celebrity chef Jamie Oliver.

Oliver has given the spy a large, attractive tongue

Jamie’s Quantum of Sausage sees Bond facing the twin challenges of avenging the death of his old mentor at the hands of a Russian billionaire, whilst simultaneously organising an informal garden party for between 10-30 guests.

But Bond’s menu plans hit an unexpected obstacle when it emerges the six of the group are vegetarians, one of whom has a gluten allergy.

Publisher Nathan Muir said: “People say our industry is in a moribund state where the only books to get published are those featuring an established character, or those written by a celebrity, preferably one who is also a chef.

“This book proves them absolutely right, however I have earned double your month’s salary while saying this sentence.”

The story opens with the spy in Serbia on the trail of a rogue agent. Stopping at a nearby primary school, Bond is shocked at the poor quality and limited nutritional value afforded by traditional school meals, and takes six weeks off from his mission to educate parents and children in tasty yet nutritious lunchtime snacks.

He then kills a man with a spatula, recites 120 pages of recipes for no reason, and says ‘pukka’ before leaving on a battered moped.

Jamie’s Quantum of Sausage also features a guest appearance by Nigella Lawson as a beautiful-but-deadly oligarch’s wife with the unfortunate habit of spilling warm, liquid ingredients down her cleavage.