'Manhunt 2' Producers Launch Glastonbury Version


CENSORS have welcomed a new version of the controversial game Manhunt in which players rampage through Glastonbury wiping out solicitors pretending to be hippies for the weekend.

Your upside-down head will not save you, Mr Eavis

Manhunt 3: Michael Eavis Must Pay will be available from tomorrow with a 'U' certificate after the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) commended the game and its "positive message for children".

Manhunt developer Tom Logan explained: "The game involves hunting down young professionals who spend 51 weeks of the year clawing their way up the corporate ladder at the expense of the planet, the poor and their very souls, who then think they can atone for that with a weekend of smoking dope, crapping in a muddy hole and listening to pop stars talk shit about the environment."

He added: "There are many interesting levels including the Pepsi Max One World folk tent, the Burger King Save the Rainforest tent and the Nike-Oxfam chill-out zone. All of which involve culling soulless, corporate yes-men dressed in brand new Sigur Ros t-shirts.

"My favourite part is reaching the Pyramid Stage and then chasing the lead singer from Keane with an enormous chainsaw while he tries to finish Somewhere Only We Know. It's a hoot."

The game culminates with the player discovering Glastonbury founder Michael Eavis in his vast farmhouse kitchen before shoving his upside-down head into the wood-fuelled Aga and beating him senseless with a Le Creuset omelet pan.

Wayne Hayes, BBFC spokesman, said: "We see so many video games that are gratuitous and nihilistic. It drives us to the point where we want to go out and kill people.

"But this game is positively bursting with goodness. After four hours of solid gameplay we wanted to go out and kill corporate lawyers and London-based public relations executives. And isn't that the sort of society we all crave?"

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