New Doctor Who not going to have any science fiction elements

THE next series of Doctor Who is going to be about an actual doctor, the BBC has announced.

He's not the doctor, he's a doctor

He’s not the doctor, he’s a doctor

BBC One boss Danny Cohen made the announcement after seeing the studio audience of ‘Whovians’ at last night’s TV special.

He said: “What an absolute bunch of freaks.

“That’s what happens when you have spaceships, aliens and zap guns in your programmes – your channel becomes a weirdo fest.

“Now if you look at Doc Martin on ITV, there’s a show with nice normal fans.

“People who keep things in perspective and don’t write arsey letters because a storyline about a sprained ankle ‘isn’t true to the Doc Martin mythos’.”

In the new series of Doctor Who, Peter Capaldi will play a doctor with the unusual surname Who, who works in a hospital near Bristol.

Danny Cohen said: “Every week someone has an accident and Peter Capaldi cures them using actual science.

“There will be a story arc about his estranged wife, or some other good solid everyday stuff. Rest assured there won’t be an army of lizard-men in bondage gear trying to take over the world.

“If Stephen Moffat doesn’t like it he can go off with Neil Gaiman and write some tripe about fairies.”