Sesame Street introduces first paranoid right-wing character

21-03-17

SOCIALLY inclusive children’s show Sesame Street is to introduce a paranoid right-wing crab who loves guns, Fox News and internet conspiracies.

After the introduction of an autistic character, the show felt it should also represent the Americans who believe Obama was worse than Hitler and own assault rifles.

A spokesman said: “Jimmy the Conspiracy Crab is a muppet in a Trump baseball cap who tells Elmo the Muslims are planning to kill him while he sleeps.  

“He’s violently opposed to any form of gun control and at one point almost blows Big Bird’s head off with an AR-15 assault rifle because he forgot to put the safety catch on and got his claw caught in the trigger guard.

“In another episode he stands outside Bert and Ernie’s apartment for hours with a megaphone berating them as perverted homosexuals who will perish in a lake of liquid fire.

“However that’s fairly mild in comparison to his song about the Holocaust being a hoax.”

Five-year-old Nikki Hollis said: “Today Jimmy told Cookie Monster about the End Times and how he will burn in Hell for coveting cookies and Cookie Monster cried.”

Save

  • Share: