Skinheads switch to haute couture
SKINHEADS are ditching Fred Perry shirts, bomber jackets and heavy boots in favour of the daring but elegant lines of Parisian haute couture.
Across Britain hundreds of bull-necked, shaven-headed men with heads like angry thumbs have become instant fans of John Galliano’s innovative use of taffeta and Neo-Nazi tirades.
Bigoted skinhead ringleader Tom Logan said: “I never really liked my black MA-1 bomber jacket, it was just so dowdy.
“Elasticated cuffs? Please. Why hide your wrists, especially if they’re decorated with fetching, home-tattooed swastikas?
“But I just love the way John’s luxuriant fabrics billow around my shoulders when I’m kicking the fuck out of someone in an underpass.”
He added: “We’ve lined Fred Perry’s pockets for decades but all he ever did was knock a tennis ball around, which is not in itself particularly racist. In fact, it’s borderline gay.”
Roy Hobbs, a stocky, volatile man from Hatfield, said: “John’s leopard print cape, teamed with burgundy velvet pantaloons and steel toe-capped neon sandals have become my default fighting wear.
“I’ve actually had a lot of compliments from homosexuals, which is really very nice of them. Who knows, perhaps being introduced to cutting edge couture via John Galliano’s fascism could be the thing that finally opens my eyes and makes me realise we’re all one.
“But probably not.”
Meanwhile, fashion expert Stephen Malley said: “John Galliano’s fondness for Hitler seems to be based mainly on the gas chambers which, of course, were also used to kill thousands of gay men. Like John Galliano.
“Just because you live in Paris and can draw a fancy frock doesn’t mean you’re not a monstrous fucking cretin.”