The Lone Ranger ‘not actually alone’

OBSERVANT cinema goers have noticed that the Lone Ranger constantly has another person with him.

If Johnny turned around he would see the problem

If Johnny turned around he would see the problem

US audience members demanded their money back after discovering that the central character spends his time with a companion.

39-year-old Roy Hobbs said: “I love films about social alienation, so I thought The Lone Ranger would be right up my street.

“But, what the fuck, he’s hanging out with Johnny Depp more or less the whole time. They’re chattering away like a pair of old fish wives.

“In fact if you count the horses there’s four of them.

“If it was called ‘The Ranger With A Close-Knit Social Group’ or ‘The Team Player Ranger’ I would be fine with that.”

The Lone Ranger first appeared on screens in the 1950s, when people would watch literally anything about cowboys.

A Disney spokesman said: “It’s not going very well.”

“When it comes out in the UK next month, try┬áthinking of them not as cowboys but as land pirates.”