Well done you corporate cake whores, says Mary Berry

30-08-17

MARY Berry has congratulated the hosts of Channel 4’s Great British Bake Off for betraying everything baking stands for.

Berry, who now only makes cakes at illegal baking parties in disused warehouses after turning her back on the money, said: “Baking was never about the cash, it was about the vibe.

“Unless you’re Paul ‘Paul Fucking Hollywood’ Hollywood or the other corporate cake whores.

“Do all those cakes taste of money? Or just Channel 4’s big corporate cock? This is worse than when John Lydon did a butter advert.”

She added: “When we started Bake Off we were young – I probably wasn’t much more than 81 – and angry and thought we could change the world through cake. There were no adverts, just overtly sexual gags and open spoon-licking.

“Just don’t be surprised if you open one of those ovens to find a big steaming ‘Berry’s chocolate log’ in there.”

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