Wonka stage role ‘ideal for 1970s TV perverts’

THE perverts of the entertainment world are demanding the chance to audition for the role of Willy Wonka.

The whole thing is just tremendously fucked-up

The whole thing is just tremendously fucked-up

The new musical of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory stars a colourful character who gives sweets to children, tempts them into his home on the promise of wonderful adventures, and ends up severely traumatising them for life.

The only survivor is Charlie, a young boy from a deprived family who is expertly groomed by Wonka to take over as his heir and owner of his army of midget drug addict clown slaves.

Opening in the West End this week, the production has been deluged with requests from celebrity deviants.

Theatrical agent Norman Steele said: “Wonka is the perverts’ pervert.

“He makes kids fight for the chance to get into his house, lap at his chocolate river, get stuck up his pipe, and suck his special gobstoppers.

“It’s such a shame Sir Jimmy’s passed away. He’d have made this role his own.”