Any chance you could stop being dicks? Facebook asks users

FACEBOOK has begged users to behave like vaguely normal human beings.

After fresh complaints about images on the site, Facebook has asked people to use it for keeping up with friends and family rather than stalking, needlessly antagonising strangers or generally being a weirdo.

CEO Mark Zuckerberg said: “Users should ask, ‘Is a website full of family birthday greetings really the right place for my creepy photos of unsuspecting women on the beach?’

“We’re just asking that users don’t do overtly dickish things like going to a stranger’s remembrance page and posting ‘LOLZ!!!’

“You shouldn’t be doing any of this shit in the first place, but if I’d wanted it on Facebook I would have called it something different like ‘ManiacPervertBook’.

“Oh and if teenagers could stop using Facebook to bully each other until they have to change schools that would be excellent too.”

Facebook user Martin Bishop said: “I use Facebook for staying in touch with uni friends and sharing sexually arousing pictures of carp.”