Biblical Toys To Include Gay Action Figure And A Bag Of Small Stones

30-07-07

THE makers of the faith-based toys taking America by storm are to produce a gay action figure that children can 'stone to death' in accordance with scripture.

The Carnal Abomination figure must die according to manufacturer's instructions

Parents across the US are spending hundreds of dollars on toys depicting Moses, Goliath, Noah and even the Whore of Babylon.

Now the manufacturers want to combine playtime with biblical morality lessons by marketing a small, plastic gay man that can be stoned to death safely on the kitchen floor.

A spokesman for the Association for Christian Retail, said: "These toys are not just about having fun, they can also be used to tell children about the warmth of God's love.

"Children can pose the action-figure Moses in so many ways. As long as they don't pose him masturbating or fellating a burly Egyptian soldier, that's okay with us."

He added: "After much prayer we decided to restrict the sale of the Jesus on the Cross action figure to the over fives.

"God would not allow a toddler to choke to death on the tiny plastic nails used to crucify Our Saviour."

A spokesman for Wal-Mart, American's biggest toy retailer, said: "The Noah's Ark toy is proving very popular, though some children have asked why it's not big enough to accommodate their plastic dinosaurs.

"The action figures are a little expensive, but parents looking for a religious playtime experience on a low budget could always just buy an ant farm and a miniature blow-torch."

  • Share:

  • turkey_inside