Black cab drivers to revel in victory over Uber for centuries to come

22-09-17

LONDON drivers have already started to relate to their passengers the Great Saga of the Black Cabs’ Triumph over Uber which will be told for centuries to come. 

Historians believe that hundreds of years from now, when the city is sunk and Britain reduced to a primitive hunter-gatherer society, the oral tradition will still tell of when the indigenous people stood strong and repelled a great invader.

London cabbie Norman Steele told a passenger to Docklands: “Long had the Men of the Lore ridden the pathways in their Chariots of Ebony, educating supplicants to their Wisdom.

“But came a stranger from across many oceans, whose face was rectangular and black and shiny and who granted many magicks so even the unknowing could become charioteers in a white Toyota Prius.

“Yet they of times, and of other times, and of time and again would mislead the unwary by transporting them to the wrong Eurotraveller Hotel, for they did not know there were two in that Postcode because they had not the Knowledge.

“And the Ubers, though they swarmed the city, were driven forth by the Wrath of Khan and many went to the sea where they drowned and many left to be on other islands like Leeds and Cornwall and Cardiff, where they may still survive today.

“This is it, mate, that’ll be £88.50. Do you mind getting your own case out? Only I’ve done in my back.”

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