Children who see Muppet movie want even more stuff

THE new Muppet movie is stoking children’s desire for even more cheaply made plastic things, it has been confirmed.

We are all animal

The film, starring Jim Henson’s loveable gang of fuzzy puppets, is sending young audiences into a consumerist frenzy in exactly the way the Disney Corporation meant it to.

But critics have attacked the film claiming it has demonised the idea of not wanting all the toys in the world right now.

Stephen Malley, from the left wing thank tank Rectos, said: “It is teaching children to hate not having a Kermit the Frog lunchbox, a Miss Piggy under fives make-up set or a Scooter scooter.

“In the last week in London alone, 14 parents were beaten to within an inch of their lives because they did not take their children directly from the cinema to the Disney Store.

“One child was found standing over his semi-conscious father, beating him across the head with a junior cricket bat and shouting, ‘get the fucking money! get the fucking money!’.”

Helen Archer, a mother of two from Peterborough, said: “My six year-old had been working particularly hard on her writing skills so she was able to sit in the cinema and make a list if all the things she wanted.

“When I asked her who her favourite character was she said ‘Tex Richman, because he has loads of stuff and he gets the fucking job done’.

“She said Kermit should ‘occupy a blender’.”