Fray Bentos to change pie tin but keep contents disgusting

THE makers of Fray Bentos pies have reassured fans that although the tins are changing, the contents will remain vile.

A Fray Bentos spokesman said: “Although we are altering our iconic tins to make them easier to open, the gruesome meat slurry and claggy pastry topping will stay exactly the same.

“We don’t want to alienate our long-suffering customers but making something edible.”

Fray Bentos fan Stephen Malley said: “If they made these pies less rank, it would not be such a badge of honour to be able to eat a whole one.

“I once saw a hipster trying to semi-ironically eat a Fray Bentos Steak and Kidney pie to impress his mates. Apparently he was never the same again.”

He added: “Personally I can only manage 60 per cent of a Fray Bentos before I have to push it out of sight.”

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Often cheap meaty foods, especially kebabs and burgers, are unfairly described as being minging because people are snobs.

“However Fray Bentos pies are the real deal.”