STOCKBROKERS are preparing for a third day of running around and waving their hands in the air, shouting 'nooooooooooooooooooo!!!'.

Look at this picture of a meadow for a while

The CAC in Paris had its worst day since it threw up on its new suit after a bad snail, while in New York the Dow Jones took an assault rifle to work and posted a video on YouTube.

Evan Davies, the BBC's economics editor, said: “The world’s stock markets are like a finely tuned barrel of eels.

“As they plunge, sea levels rise, leading to a fall in the price of dogs. Even if cat prices remain stable a recession then occurs. No one knows why.”

Davies added: “People often ask me why they have to lose their job and their home because a man in an expensive shirt made some terrible decisions. I tell them no-one knows.”

Alastair Darling, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, woke up in his own shit.

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