India Unveils World’s Shittest Car

TATA, the Indian car giant, yesterday unveiled what it claims is the world's shittest mode of transport.

The company said the 'Nano' – Hindi for 'death turd' – is designed to be both affordable and a complete piece of shit.

The car, to be built initially for the Indian market, will cost around £1200 – roughly 1200 times the average weekly wage and three times the price of a house.

The manufacturers have warned that in certain parts of the country it will be advisable to maintain the top speed of 43mph in a desperate attempt to avoid being chased down by hungry leopards.

The car has no air bags and no air conditioning, despite average Indian summertime temperatures of 150 degrees Fahrenheit.

The company has also cut costs and increased the danger by removing the hand brake and filling the glove compartment with killer wasps.

Tata expects to sell more than 400 million Nanos, despite the fact that most Indians have absolutely nowhere to go.

Motor industry analyst Tom Logan said: "The Nano is likely to be the first in a range of incredibly dangerous pieces of shit and is confirmation that Indians remain the world's most expendable people."