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Jesus Congratulates Blair On New Job

JESUS has congratulated his friend Tony Blair after the former prime minister was appointed to a £500,000 a year post with a US investment bank.

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M&S On The Brink As Public Decide To Peel Their Own Vegetables

MARKS & Spencer last night warned that civilisation was at an end after its profits slumped following poor Christmas sales of hand peeled free range sprouts at £9.99 a pair.

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