Kate Moss billboard collapse ‘an omen of second recession’

09-03-12

THE falling of a Kate Moss hoarding onto shoppers augurs another recession, according to financial soothsayers.

Even in human form she is invisible from the side

A seven-foot Oxford Street billboard displaying Moss’s face was presiding over the busy retail area when it fell mysteriously, injuring three consumers and severing a window shopper’s head.

Monetary prophets have been alert for any supernatural indication of economic disaster since 2008’s spontaneous combustion of a Heidi Klum bus advert which immediately preceded the last global recession.

Commercial harbinger Wayne Hayes claims to have been visited in a dream by the giant billboard of Kate Moss.

He said: “We were all waiting for a sign and it came to us in the form of a sign.  

“Other omens of financial ruin are already manifest. There have been reports of a giant marshmallow Alan Sugar lolloping through Bristol’s Cabot Circus retail area.

“And a semi-translucent floating Cash Converters outlet, staffed by strange shining beings, appeared on a pub roof in Norwich.”

Managers at Manchester’s Trafford Centre have responded to the premonitory hoarding fall by installing a sacrificial altar in the disabled toilets.

 

 

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