Old fiver is ticking time bomb

BRITONS face a race against time to spend their old £5 notes while they are still legal tender. 

The nation’s cash-hoarders only have until next Friday to exchange their dirty old fivers for material goods before they become completely worthless.

Tom Logan of Mansfield said: “I’ve only got 168 hours to spend five whole pounds. Will I make it? What will I spend it on?

“Will I desperately fill a basket with Freddos? Will I blow it all on a really fancy sandwich? Will I panic-buy 100 carrier bags? It’s like Brewster’s Millions. 

“The adrenaline is coursing through my veins. It’s a race against time and I have to win. This must be what it feels like to be an action hero.”

Experts are warning the public to expect a desperate game of pass-the-parcel on May 5th as everyone attempts to pass old £5 notes off on each other.

Financial analyst Bill McKay said: “If anyone tries to give you a fiver next Friday I’d advise you to punch out or go limp. If you’re holding a £5 note on the stroke of midnight, you lose.”