PR professional unable to make people like her

A PUBLIC relations professional is unable to make people like her, it has emerged.

Despite her job requiring her to make people warm to her clients, Emma Bradford finds it impossible to behave pleasantly herself.

Acquaintance Helen Archer said: “Emma made the public like a tallow factory’s giant cow mascot, so I’ve got no idea why she can’t act like a human being when she meets new people.

“If she’s not telling them how much her shoes cost, she’s tutting when they talk about their family.

“I introduced her to my partner and she took me to one side and asked why his face was that shape. Then she started talking about how he needed to ‘rebrand’ if he didn’t want to ‘look like he’s shit the bed in front of his core demographic.'”

Bradford said: “Do you think chefs want to cook themselves a meal when they get home? Fuck off.”