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RBS says relocation is scare story and true story

RBS said it will definitely move to London after independence, but admitted that must be really scary for Alex Salmond.

Tornadoes: Scary and true

The Royal Bank of Scotland confirmed it will no longer be based in Scotland if Scotland becomes the sort of country that should really have a royal bank.

A spokesman said: “We’re 81% owned by the UK government so it’s not like we’re going to move to Hawaii.

“So, London it is. We are definitely going.”

But SNP leader Alex Salmond said: “No you’re not.”

The spokesman added: “Yes we are. We’ve just said so.”

Salmond insisted: “No, you’re not. You’re just trying to scare people.”

The spokesman said: “We’re not actually trying to scare people, we’re running a business. But if people are scared, it’s probably because it’s a bit scary.

“Because it’s true.”

Salmond then accused the spokesman of working for MI6 before producing an ‘incriminating dossier’ consisting of random cuttings from local newspapers.

The RBS spokesman said: “Is everything okay?”

 

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Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

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