Sainsbury's Buyer Led Extravagant Potato-Based Lifestyle
SUSPECTED Sainsbury's vegetable buyer John Maylam first gave himself away after spending thousands of pounds on a 180mph potato car, colleagues said last night.
Maylam lived a lavish lifestyle, way beyond the means of a normal supermarket employee, owning a £2 million mansion in Hertfordshire, made of the most deliciously waxy Maris Pipers.
Friends who visited his palatial home said they were amazed to see sacks of potatoes left lying casually around the house, while every drawer was filled with a King Edward or a lovely purple-skinned Desireé, perfect with summer salads.
A former colleague said: "John was always good for a potato, especially if you were a bit short at the end of the month.
"He always had a great variety. Fresh Jersey Royals, slender Juliettes, and those big creamy Pentland Javelins that go so well with casseroles. Strangely enough, I never saw him with a Pink Fir Apple."
He added: "We went to the States on business once and it was like something out of Goodfellas. A guy only had to hold a door open and John would press a new potato into his hand as if it was nothing."
"One time, at a lap dancing bar, he went through a whole bag of Russet Burbanks. It was like he was made of potatoes."
Maylam was arrested by police while trying to flee the country wearing a large plastic nose and a false moustache.