Should anyone be allowed to work in the City?

A DAMNING report into former bank bosses has raised the question of whether anyone should be allowed to work in finance.

If we're going to do this properly

If we’re going to do this properly

As the banking standards commission suggested three former HBOS directors should be banned from the industry, experts said the men had been greedy and very bad at their jobs, just like absolutely everyone else who does this kind of thing.

Julian Cook, chief economist at Donnelly-McPartlin, said: “Acres of empty office space. You may as well graze sheep at the foot of the Shard.

“Every day I get into the lift with my colleagues and we all just look at each other and shrug. And then we get out our smartphones and compare photos of our Bang and Olufsen lavatories.”

He added: “I certainly shouldn’t be here. Jesus. ‘Chief economist’? What a lot of shite.

“Can I get you some homeopathy with that?”

Martin Bishop, a senior trader at Madeley-Finnegan, said: “Watch what happens when I press this button.

“Oh shit, it’s not supposed to do that. I was sure we had rigged that bit. I fucking hate this job when it’s not rigged.”

He added: “Wait a minute, it’s okay, I still made 80 grand.”