DISCOUNT hotel chain Travelodge has swapped its ‘Do Not Disturb’ signs for ones warning that the room’s lone occupant is mid-wank.
Sick of staff entering rooms to change linen only to find a middle-aged man flat on his back strumming his ugly genitals to Black Swan on Freeview, exectives agreed to make the subtext of their door signs explicit.
A spokesman said: “Realistically what other private business would anyone be enacting in a Travelodge room? A high-class cocktail party with a glittering guestlist?
“No, the only possible reason any of our tragic, lonely clientele ever choose to lock themselves in to what amounts to a prison cell is because they’re cracking one out.
“So we’ve changed the signage to reflect this reality, with a graphic of a middle-aged man who’s had KFC and a milkshake for his evening meal staring at a wall with his cock in his hand, ready for the underwhelming wank that will be the stay’s highlight.
Guest Oliver O’Connor said: “It’s no wonder the company always books me in a Travelodge on a retail park outside Llanelli. They know me and my people.
“I can hang one of these signs on my door and rest assured that I won’t be interrupted until I’ve reached completion and remove it, two minutes and 17 seconds later.”
