Zuckerberg surprised Facebook still works


BILLIONAIRE embryo Mark Zuckerberg has expressed shock that his school project website hasn’t broken yet.

Zuckerberg comes up with some of his best ideas while masturbating

The Facebook founder has recently been dogged by claims his company sold whatever scraps of personal information his tiresomely effusive users had not already given away.

But the fabulously wealthy foetus said it was just as well their data was in safe, third-party hands, because  his website will probably break soon.

Zuckerberg said: “When I built this thing I was even younger than I am now, if you can imagine that. I was little more than a sperm in Converse.

“Fuelled by fizzy drinks, peanut M & Ms and ‘power masturbation’ I accidentally built Facebook for no reason.

“Now it is home to every human with fingers and an ego.

“Fuck knows how it hasn’t packed in.”

Addressing the breach of user privacy, he added: “Togetherness, connecting people, principles, inspiring.

“That do?”

Meanwhile Facebook’s former arch-rival Myspace has been accused of selling its last remaining user’s stolen microwave.

A company source said: “We knew when he was out as we are quite obsessive about his habits. We just got over the garden fence, smashed the kitchen window, job done.

“Naturally we regret this security breach and will be returning the microwave money, PS3 and his grandad’s war medals.”


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