Amanda Holden’s Vagina Appears In Crop Circle

A CROP circle depicting the genitalia of TV talent show judge Amanda Holden has appeared in an Oxfordshire field.


Experts say it is the most accurate representation of a famous sex area yet undertaken by aliens and heralds a spectacular summer of B-List celebrity private parts invading Britain's cereal industry.

Denys Hatton, of the website, said: "'What's really notable is the detail. It appears to show a slightly grown-out Brazilian with a few straggly 'spider-legs' on either side."

He added: "Even someone who had never seen Cutting It or Britain Must be Stopped would have to admit that it's obviously Amanda's fun-zone."

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "It's possible the aliens are tapping into some kind of collective consciousness and chose Amanda Holden's vagina because of its deep symbolic resonance.

"Or maybe they just want to help her break into the American market."

He added: "Either way, we haven't seen this level of intricacy in a celebrity vagina crop circle since Davia McCall's labia appeared in a field of beans near Leighton Buzzard."

But the field's owner James Peakes, of Parsonage Farm, was less impressed: "I'm sure many men dream of being able to see Amanda Holden's fandango from their kitchen window, but it's actually quite annoying.

"Hundreds of people have trampled my crops, and I can't even charge admission as technically that would make me a pimp."

His wife Sarah added: "I don't see why anyone would want to cross the universe in a spaceship just to draw Amanda Holden's twat in some barley. But if it was aliens, then they need to get a life."