Big Fat Indian Woman Refuses To Hug Jonathan Ross
AMMA, the big fat indian woman who has hugged more than 26 million people, has warned Jonathan Ross not to come within 100 metres of her comforting bosom.
It is the first time in 30 years that Sri Mata Amritanandamayi, also known as Amma or 'mother', has refused to hug another human being, insisting the BBC chat show host 'stank of evil'.
The 'hugging saint' said: "Some souls are born for great tasks, other souls are humble but do great things. Jonathan Ross is a jumped-up researcher with a dirty mouth."
The Amma Foundation has now adapated its motto to read: "May all the beings in the all the worlds be happy – except Jonathan Ross."
She added: "The greatest tragedy in life is not death; the greatest tragedy takes place when our talents and capabilities are underutilized and allowed to rust while we are living. Or when the BBC gives £18 million of public money to a prick.
"If he was my child I would have thrown him into the River Pamba as an afternoon snack for the crocodiles."
The foundation's online shop has also started selling t-shirts bearing the chat show host's face and the slogan: "If you see Jonathan Ross, kick him in the nuts."
Amma travels the world hugging anyone who comes forward, often uttering a few soft words of comfort to those most in need.
At her recent event in London she embraced the chancellor Alistair Darling and whispered: "You couldn't run a bath. For God's sake just resign."