Celebrities To Enter Big Brother Winner

26-08-10

VICTORIOUS housemate Josie Gibson is to become ‘home’ for a tiny submarine carrying Celebrity Big Brother contestants, it has emerged.

The producers performed a full-size test run up Chanelle Hayes's vagina

In a final adaptation of the original format, some humans and John McCririck will be placed in a bullet-shaped craft which will be shrunk to the size of a weevil’s knee using gamma rays and then injected into the bubbly sales rep.

The process will begin when production staff spike Gibson’s drink with a strong sedative at tonight’s Big Brother winners’ party.

She will awaken strapped to a table in a sterile laboratory, half-blinded by the reflected light from the polished stainless steel surfaces, before screaming and writhing as masked, gimlet-eyed scientists descend on her with a large hypodermic syringe.

A spokesman for producers Endemol said: “It will come as something of a surprise. All Big Brother winners dream of meeting celebrities, but few are lucky enough to have them introduced into their bloodstream. Medically it’s fine, probably.”

The celebrities, including Ulrika Jonsson or a certified equivalent, will complete challenges for food and treats while working together to guide the craft around Josie’s interior, avoiding comparatively vast antibodies which will attempt to engulf and destroy them.

The spokesman added: “It is, of course, a race against time as the gamma rays only last for 48 hours.

“If the crew do not complete all their tasks then unfortunately bits of Josie will be splattered across the walls of a laboratory now dominated by a large submarine.

“Come to think of it we should probably have done this with Chantelle Houghton.

“Bollocks.”

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