Derren Brown has hooves instead of feet


Mandatory Credit: Photo by REX/Shutterstock (5543920g) Derren Brown Derren Brown designs new Ghost Train attraction at Thorpe Park, Surrey, Britain - 18 Jan 2016 Derren Brown today announces that the top secret attraction he has been working on with THORPE PARK Resort is a Ghost Train re-invented for the 21st Century. First visuals released today reveal a seven tonne Victorian Carriage suspended in mid-air. Derren Brown's Ghost Train, which can only be found at THORPE PARK Resort, is a head-spinning train journey of between 10-15 minutes, the like of which guests will never have taken before; providing a heady mixture of exhilarating live action sequences, 4D special effects, grand-scale illusions, next generation technology, and physical transit.  No place for spectators, guests will play a major part in the action which will leave them questioning where perception ends and reality begins.

DERREN Brown has goat-like hooves because of doing black magic, it has emerged.

The celebrity evil wizard was recently filmed surviving asphyxiation with a plastic bag, an act which could only be done with the help of demonic powers.

Brown’s neighbour Wayne Hayes said: “I was thinking about Derren when I bought some milk, and when I got home it was off. That afternoon I lost a hammer, or at least could not find it for a bit. It all seemed too much of a coincidence.

“The next day I saw him sunbathing in his garden and he had hooves instead of feet. Cloven hooves, like a goat’s, which are the bad kind of hooves.

“That night I prayed for him to be destroyed by God but he was still around in the morning, putting his bins outs.”

Donna Sheridan, from Hartlepool, said: “Whether he is evil incarnate or not, his programmes are very entertaining and I think it would be a shame to burn him at the stake.”

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