Godzilla dies in Monster Island nursing home
THE 200ft tall mutant reptile Godzilla has passed away peacefully in his sleep.
Godzilla had scaled back his rampages in recent years due to increasingly poor health. His decline became evident in 2000, when he had to pause midway through trashing Tokyo to lean on a skyscraper and have a coughing fit.
The lizard’s doctor Roy Hobbs said: “He may have beaten King Ghidorah, the three-headed dragon monster, but it was too much salt that finished him off.”
Former adversaries were quick to offer condolences. Mothra said: “Godzilla was much superior at the fighting. I enbow my head at his conflictingness.”
Giant pterodactyl Rodan said: “He was a worthy opponent, and a damn good friend. His battle against Smog Monster is what inspired me to get into this whole monstering thing.
“The greatest of us all has breathed his last nuclear breath.
“If monsters have a Heaven, that’s where he’s gone. However that does seem unlikely.”
Godzilla leaves behind a son, Son of Godzilla, and a giant robot version of himself, MechaGodzilla, and an evil doppelganger from beyond the stars, SpaceGodzilla.