Gregg Wallace splits from long-term pudding

MASTERCHEF host Gregg Wallace has left the home he shared with a live-in crumble.

Wallace met freshly-baked apple and wild berry concoction Jenny Spencer after the dessert sent him a Twitter message saying she had accidentally spilled a generous amount of cream over herself.

Following a brief online courtship Spencer, who is topped with nutmeg and lives in a deep rectangular dish, moved into Wallace’s beautifully-appointed Home Counties fridge.

A neighbour said: “Gregg’s relationships with puddings rarely last longer than 40 seconds.

“During his last single phase we would see tarts and cakes turning up at all hours.

“The door would open just wide enough for his pudgy hand to seize them and seconds later the empty bowl would come flying out of the bedroom window.

“But this one seemed like a keeper. We would see them out together on the patio but Gregg only ever had a small portion, clearly he wanted it to last.”

A spokesman for Wallace denied claims the presenter had grown close to a chocolate roulade with an orange and Grand Marnier sauce from Comeback Week.

 

 

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Dictators' Wives storm Mid-East album chart

A NEW album by Queen Rania of Jordan, Syrian first lady Asma al-Assad, and the four wives of Bahrain’s Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa has hit number one across the Middle East.

Dictators’ Wives, an album of cover versions by the region’s most bloodstained socialites, celebrates the everyday heroism of buying luxury goods and torturing regime haters.

Tracks include Single Ladies (Stay Indoors Unless Accompanied By A Male Family Member), Queen’s Don’t Stop Me Now and the Metallica classic Kill ‘Em All.

Queen Rania said: “My good friend Bono, who helps me secure world peace, says there’s no better way to feel better about yourself than releasing an album.”

Asma al-Assad added: “We roped a few of the girls into taking part and it’s been great fun. Though Cherie Blair said ‘no’ for some reason. I think she might be a bit racist.

“We were going to give the proceeds to Samira Hussein and Suzanne Mubarak but then we saw the dinky new Range Rover so we bought 14 each.”

The album was a bestseller from the day of release, with thousands of pre-orders made via Amazon accounts in Belgravia and Surrey.

A sold-out concert is to follow next Saturday’s public executions.