I am a ponce, admits Hiddleston

11-01-17

ACTOR Tom Hiddleston has apologised for being a massive ponce.

The Night Manager star claims he thought he was just debonair, but has since realised that he is in fact a ponce.

He said: “This morning I was having my ‘brekkie’ of a boiled quail’s egg, in preparation for a boating trip with my friends Algie and Roper, and looking in the newspaper for pictures of myself as I do on a daily basis.

“It emerged that my Golden Globes speech, which I gave whilst receiving a statuette for an admittedly stellar performance, had attracted some scathing notices.

“Reflecting on this, it became clear to me that I am a huge posh ponce who loves showing off. I am deeply sorry.”

He added: “I am great though.”

Twitter user Martin Bishop said: “Hanging’s too good for actors who are a bit up themselves, even if my wife does like him. He’ll probably turn up in some old-fashioned convertible car and steal her away to a dinner dance.”

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