I Would Only Use Adidas Prostitutes, Says Beckham

DAVID Beckham has angrily denied claims he slept with a prostitute insisting he could only ever be unfaithful to his wife with a contractually branded tart.

'Sex' by David and Victoria Beckham

The England superstar has been hit by accusations he enjoyed a triangulated romp in a New York hotel without the consent of Adidas, Motorola or David Beckham by Giorgio Armani.

Beckham has now launched a legal action against a US magazine, insisting he has never entered into a sexual intercourse arrangement with any woman other than his officially sponsored wife.

A source close to the 35 year-old LA Galaxy marketing strategy said: “I just can’t see David having sex with a prostitute, because the prostitute would have to pay him for endorsing her vulva.

“And even then there would have to lengthy consultations with his management team about which holes were used, a watertight penetration contract and Adidas would insist on having lots of complex insurance policies in case he falls off half way through and does his cruciate ligament again.

“And of course there would also have to be a five year global copyright agreement covering any grainy, CCTV images of his naked, heaving buttocks.”

The source added: “I can see him doing a TV ad for Adidas where he’s at a trendy sex party with lots of other celebrities in a Manhattan loft.

“And I’m sure he would do something with Motorola if they ever get round to releasing their 4G bluetooth prostitute.

“But it would be very tasteful. All black and white and shimmering thighs with a slogan like ‘Intercourse. Everywhere.”