Prince Philip Alters Will

12-01-09

PRINCE PHILIP has changed his will in order to bequeath his extensive collection of racist paraphernalia to his favourite grandson.

Two peas in an unbelievably luxurious pod

The move comes after Prince Harry was caught on camera using racially offensive language to the shock and surprise of absolutely no-one.

According to Palace insiders Philip considered changing his will four years ago after Harry asked to borrow his dress Swastika, but decided to wait and see if the young prince developed the maturity to wield fully-formed racial slurs.

Now Harry is set to inherit Philip's prized copy of From Abo to Zorba: The Illustrated Dictionary of Racial Epithets, as well as his silver-plated Jew-detector and his Coolie stick.

Constitutional expert Denys Finch-Hatton said: "Philip loves nothing more than rummaging around in jumble sales looking for racist knick-knacks from the 1920s.

"Indeed, one of his most common complaints in recent years is how no-one makes a decent pair of wog-shackles any more."

Finch-Hatton added: "Of course he's delighted at the way Harry has turned out. Since the Queen Mother died there are very few people he can talk to about darkies and chinks.

"In fact I'm sure if he could, Philip would even change the order of the succession, missing out both Charles and William, who he regards as little better than gay communists."

Meanwhile Harry is to be disciplined by his regiment and given special training in how to be racist without recording the whole thing on video.

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