Public Backs Princess Anne To Be Next King

THE public last night backed changes to laws of succession and called for Princess Anne to be the next King of England.

According to a nationwide poll, more than 86% said that as soon as the law is passed, the Queen's male heirs should renounce the throne and make way for King Anne I.

Meanwhile 72% said they would enjoy watching King Anne fight her brothers in a lengthy and vicious civil war if they did not peacefully hand over the crown.

Asked what they liked most about their future king, more than half mentioned her strong jaw, broad thighs and large, meaty forearms.

Constitutional expert, Denys Finch-Hatton, said: "The Princess Royal looks magnificent on a horse and has more male hormones than Charles, Andrew and Edward put together.

"She's also a Colonel in the Royal Hussars, an Air Commodore, a Rear Admiral and finished last season as a very useful tighthead prop for London Irish."

He added: "She may not have the requisite number of testicles but she's hard as nails, drinks from the can and loves nothing more than a well-organised dog fight."

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I'll Do It If You Land A Helicopter On My Parents' Lawn, Kate Told Wills

KATE Middleton agreed to do that thing Prince William has been asking
her to do for months, but only if he landed a Chinook helicopter on her
parents’ lawn, it emerged last night.

Friends of the couple said the Â£30,000 stunt was ‘worth every penny’ if you knew what the thing actually was.

A source close to the Prince said: “It’s game on. William has kept his end of the bargain. This is a big test for their relationship.”

William is now said to be looking to forward to doing the thing, which his grandfather has assured him is, ‘even better than you think it’s going to be’.

It is understood the Prince first suggested doing the thing on his birthday last year, but was told there was absolutely no way it was going to happen.

One Royal insider said: “His pleading became very insistent. At one point he even claimed it was the ‘law of England’ and if she didn’t do it, she’d be thrown in a dungeon.

“But Kate stuck to her guns and said if he really wanted it he would have to get his RAF wings, land a helicopter on the lawn, wave to her parents and then take off again.”

The insider added: “I’m sure there are dozens of girls who would have been delighted to do this particular thing, but he’s been determined to do it with Kate.

“It shows a lot of character.”

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